Now you're old and feeble,
And your pilot light is out,
What used to be your sex appeal
Is now your water spout.
T'was a time, when of it's own accord
From your trousers it would spring,
But now you have a part time job
To find the blasted thing.
You used to be embarrassed
To make that thing behave,
For every single morning
It would stand and watch you shave.
But as old age approaches
It sure gives you the blues,
To see it hang it's withered head
And watch you tie your shoes.
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
'Mens Poem' verses to a brother-in-law on his 60th Birthday from a sister-in-law
HILL WALKER / PHOTOGRAPHER / WORKS AT ECHO NEWSPAPER
You've reached your 60th birthday, Bill
To the year, the day, the hour
You've been a lifelong country boy
Along with Lily, your flower
And Robin...that's the name of a bird
And Dawn...that says it all
As for Mark...that's the mud on your coat
After a hill walking fall
Or was Mark named after the Thatcher boy
Who could get lost even in town
Well, let's face it Bill, you've been known
To have your compass upside down
Out walking with your camera
To record whatever you see
Why this country boy has even researched
The Armworth family tree
You've seen all the country views
You've had a look, a sight, a decko
And not to ignore the sound of the hills
You're working on the Echo
It's amazing with all that walking
You're still not over the hill
This comes with love from Maureen
HAPPY 60th, BILL
Mens Birthday Verses Poems DittiesI bring you men poems, wishes, verses, poems, quotes, messages, wordings, sayings, text and greetings for, to and from mom or mum and dad, parents, fiance, fiancee, spouses, husband or wife, friends, grandma or nan and grandad, brothers, sisters , children, grandchildren, best friend, mothers, sons or daughters. All are free, online and printable and all are funny tributes for birthdays, especially 18th, 21st, 30th, 40th, 50th. 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th, 100th.
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Another 'Men poems' example, this one a 40th Birthday verse, to a Husband / Dad
CASHIER / BIRD WATCHER / GETS WORDS MIXED UP / KEEN ON CYCLING AND BOATS / FANATICAL ABOUT HIS LAWN / FOOTBALL FAN etc
You're getting old Jon Blackburn
Forty years since you were born
We'd put you out to grass - except
You won't allow us on your lawn
You love birds and nice figures
It's rumoured 'round the Wear
But we all know what you really are
- an ornithologist cashier
You've said you like the Towny Orl
But was that just a slip?
Let's face it Jon - you've been known
To get your words muxed ip
You like to mess about in boats
But your manoevres are the worst
You put the boat in backwards
Pointy-end first
You follow the lads in Red and White
Who these days rarely win
Is it this - or your head banging
That's made your thatch go thin?
As a lager swilling cyclist
We just hope that you don't fall
This happy 40th wish is from
Jack, Marg and Paul
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Birthday Verses Poems Ditties, without asking permission...
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Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
**
A birthday poem to a best friend
DRINKER / ANGLER / WIFE CHARGES FOR SEX
We didn't know what to get
For your birthday, Timmy Blott,
So we got you a picture
Of a bloke with a beer pot
Surrounded by loads of booze
Suppin' a pint or two
He's drinking fast, he's got no choice
There's van loads to get through
This bloke's fond of fishing
And the X files on TV
His loving wife is good to him
Never charging VAT
Always on the mobile phone
And dressed in jogging gear
He can't stand the froggies
But is partial to their beer
We don't know who this strange bloke is
But we hope you like it Tim,
We bet you're really glad that you're
Not a bit like him...
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
**
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Another of the many 40th Birthday poems, verses to a Friend
GOLFER / BOARD GAMES / PLAYING GOLF WHEN CHILD WAS BORN
Congratulations Harry
You've reached the big Four O
The self same number of shots you take
With more than half a round to go.
With wife and kids for a handicap
It's no wonder you take a beating
A clever organiser of golf outings
Would win with skill---- and cheating
From boring games to board games
It really isn't fair
That no one ever plays with you
Have you considered solitaire?
Julie started labour without you
She was obviously to blame
This is just the sort of thing to put
A bloke right off his game.
This 40th birthday tribute
Might well dent your pride
We really couldn't have insulted you more
But believe us, Harry, we tried.
Lots more Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties yet
A 40th birthday, Dad, husband verse from a son and wife
YOUNG LOOKING 40 YEAR OLD / UNTIDY / GOES TO GYM / CAR LOVER
You're just a kid at 40
Still virile, sexy ------ hot
While your partner at work is "Younger"
The one at home is not
As a member of the 5.40 squad
You stay fit and feeling right
For grooving at the "Black Horse"
Every Friday night
With all that heavy lifting pints
It's no surprise you feel half dead
That's why you leave your clothes around
And can't get out of bed
For your birthday I was going to get
A black VW trimmed with red
But a GTI V6 is just a car
So I got you this instead
It's a tribute to last a lifetime
So I wasn't being mean
It's to remind you that we love you
from Danny and Doreen
**
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
40th birthday verses / poem to dad and husband from wife and kids
IRISHMAN / COUNTRY MUSIC PERFORMER
Tommy Smith you're 40
A middle aged bloke
A geriatric pop star
An old Irish joke
You look like General Custer
In beard and cowboy dut
With faded jeans perched beneath
A well earned Guinness gut
In the 70's with your Afro hair
And pants flared from the knees
You taught a young Makam lass
All about "The Birds and Bees"
You're now an International star
Of country pop and blues
Who'd have guessed all that would come
From the kid with back to front shoes
But to us you're not a superstar
So forget that birthday fun
We're starving get your pinny on
There's cooking to be done
We've been so very insulting
And we apologise for such
Happy Birthday Tommy Smith
We love you very much
________________________________
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties, this one for a Dad
________________________________
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Birthday poem to Dad from sarcastic daughter"YES" FAN / FATHER from sarcastic daughter
Dad you're very ---- very old
But still look good all the same
Who care's if your hair's going grey
And you'll suit a zimmer frame
OK so you fall asleep in the chair
Your snoring's not that bad
As for the sound you make when you sing
It's very ------ similar, dad
With all that stuff on computer
It's no wonder you're always snoring
Who'd surf the net for building firms
Lets face it dad your boring
You just sit around at work all day
And your taste in music and sport
Is past it's best "yes" it is
Like the team that you support
But as it's your 400th! birthday
Hang this tribute up with pride
We really couldn't have insulted you more
But believe us Dad, we tried
But Dad, you know we love you
And now we're telling the truth
For an old fogie you're terrific
Love from Julie, Kath and Ruth
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Happy Birthday Husband poemDOG OWNER / GAMBLER / 6 KIDS
Don't worry that you're over the hill
Your'e still bright and breezy
Despite being a Leeds fan
God knows that can't be easy
No wonder there's a few grey hairs
The few left on your head
No wonder you turn to alchohol
and "swim upstairs" to bed
Thank goodness for man's best friend
Billy always brings a smile
But then he comes before the kids
Well except for your buddy Kyle
Young Ryans not a footy fan
and doesn't seek gambling gains
The four girls don't care for blokey things
But then, they were born with brains
40 years old, 6 kids and a dog
Your'e proud and so you oughta
This comes with love from Jenny
Your wife, the Dragons Daughter
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Happy 40th birthday Brother poemHEAVY DRINKER / HAD VIDEO BUSINESS / PRISON OFFICER / GOT DEGREE FROM OPEN UNI
Jim's been practicing all his life
For his fortieth to come
Fortified ----- by Fosters lager
And Captain Morgan rum
A very mature student
Working hard to get a first
For knowledge we're the first to agree
He's got a prodigious thirst
Taking videos at parties
There's no one better than him
Yes, where ever theres happy drunken folk
You're sure to find our Jim
But don't assume that our Jim
Is never out the pub,
Just occasionally he turns up at work
Or the boilermakers club
But all this talk of boozing
Is said in fun and jest
For a drunk we think your'e a smashing bloke
Happy 40th -- all the best
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Birthday poem to partner from partner and kids
MECHANIC / GARAGE OWNER / DALE (DOG) / KEEPS DRIVING OVER MOBILE PHONE
Happy birthday Terry
You've reached the big Four -0
As a car-fixing single parent
You're always on the go
Tho' your garage is just like Steptoe's yard
You're the best in Chester le Street
If you're busy you've got Dale the dog
For an extra pair ------of feet
Despite constant grafting
You're not one to moan
Well ---- except when you demolish
Yet another mobile phone
Lesley, Anne and Cazza
And your faithful doggy lackey
Join me in wishing you all the best
Lots of love from Jackie
**
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Happy 60th birthday poem from close friends
DROPPED ANCHOR BUT IT WASN'T TIED TO BOAT / WORKS AT MENTAL HOSPITAL / FOOTY FAN
You're hopeless at DIY
You're teams not worth a dime
You're a lover of the best champagne
But drink beer all the time.
It's said you're a mariner
But while fishing off Morecambe Bay
You give a whole new meaning
To the term of "Anchors Away"
You're about as mad as a hatter
Off your trolley, up the pole
When your shifts finished do they really
Let you out of Cherry Knowle
Lets face it you're getting very old
The jogging trainers will have to go
It's time to invest in some slippers
Now you've reached the big six -0
But despite being decrepit
With your engine about to stall
We think you're great, Happy Birthday Don
from Jimmy, Marg and Paul
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Best Friend Birthday poem verses
ROOFER / HORSE TRAINER / FOOTY FAN
Happy birthday Benny
You've reached the big Five 0
It's no wonder you sleep a lot
As the years begin to show
Maybe it's being a Supporter
Of the lads in Red and White
Or suppin' in the Sportsman Bar
At the Stadium of Light
Or downing Carling in the Black Horse
Or training Latalombe
Or rushing off to Sedgefield
Instead of staying home
You're too old for racing horses
They could beat you by miles
You're too old to be a roofer
Always out on the tiles
Lets face it Ben, you're very old
.......... A very old mate
All the best on your 50th
From Davey, Jane and Kate
Birthday poem verses from wife and son
KEEN ON CARS / SURNAME IS CARR / OWNS TAX**
Happy 50th birthday poem verses from best friends
SHOP STEWARD / BIKER / KEEPS IN GOOD SHAPE / PUB CRAWLER
Jim Brown, lager suppin champ
Well doesn't time fly
You're a bit of a sport, we've heard it said
You'll be eighteen till you die
You're a well known local character
With a load of admiring fans
In every pub, all over town
Have you ever tried McCanns?
We've heard it's a canny pub
Why not pop there on your bike
On second thoughts, don't bother
You might bring 'em out on strike
You've got a great sense of humour
Not just a man in a crowd
And that tight pair of buttocks
Would make any bloke feel proud
In fact to see you, it's amazing
That 50 years have gone
Have a really smashing birthday
from Jenny and from John
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Best friend birthday poem from a friend and his wife
TAKE LONG BATHS / ALWAYS LATE / KEEN ON ITALIAN CARS / POLICEMANLong Baths Policeman
We reckon you had a problem birth
And drove your mother light
Keeping her waiting for your arrival
Just like us, each Saturday night
You remind us of a ripened prune
It's not surprising - so you oughta
Since you seem to spend half your life
Sitting in bath water
When not in the bath you're eatin
Or suppin' at the bar
So its no surprise you've got no time
To put petrol in the car
You're obsessed with cars and Italy
So we think it's such a pity
That you didn't become a traffic cop
In the Vatican City
To be honest Len, you're a waste of space
Who's always late not soon
But despite all that, you're a smashing bloke
Lots of love from Derek and June
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
Birthday poem to partner from his partner and her daughter
INDULGES TOO MUCH IN BEER, FAGS AND COFFEE / PARACHUTIST / SQUASH PLAYER
Peter, you're an Excess Man
A mechanical engineer
You smoke just like a chimney
And sup too much beer
You chat up too many waitresses
You drink coffee by the litre
And the amount of grub you shovel in
You're well named "Peter Eater"
You surf the net too often
You give the squash ball too many thumps
And as for parachutting
You've had one too many jumps
"Do it again" says Suzzannah
"Break both feet off" she mocks
It won't affect your dancing skills
And will save on sweaty socks
This is a special tribute, Peter
A sort of framed up birthday banner
It comes with love from both of us
Laura and Suzzannah
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
80th birthday poem to an old friend
ACTIVE FOR AGE / WWII VETERAN / SUNDERLAND SUPPORTER
Congratulations Alan
You've reached the big Eight-O
Still gaddin' about in your car
Always on the go
You've had a very active life
We know you once faced a shark
You've seen some pretty awful sights
And not just at Roker Park
You fought against the enemy
You've seen many a bloody fight
Well, it's not easy being a supporter
Of the lads in Red and White
A prisoner of the Japanese
And in shark infested waters
Good practice then for later being
One of the Mackem supporters
Enjoy your next 20 years
And get some gardening in
Have a smashin' 80th birthday
With love from Jack and Lynne
Mens Birthday Verses Poems Ditties
21st birthday poem verses to friend
GARY THOMPSON, SUPERSTAR
There's no doubt you're a winner
At remote racing cars and sport
But look at the team of losers
You've chosen to support
Fair enough you're very good at things
Especially your playstation
But not golf, so says the caravan man
Who got extra ventilation
It's true that you're good looking
Gorgeous some have said
But does Di Caprio have a baseball cap
Superglued to his head?
You're a chips and cat loving smartie pants
Who's got a funny side
It's been hard to find good insults
But believe us Gaz, we've tried
It's time for you to give up Hooch
Now you've turned from boy to man
Congratulations, all the best
From Hezza and Joanne
**
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